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October 5, 2011   Posted by: Khaled

Creating Sexual Tension

Sexual tension can be created through teasing, humor, cocky-funny, negation, and outcome independence. For example for teasing, finding an area of innocent insecurity she has and play with it.

It’s not making her feel bad about it, but it demonstrates you are dominant, confident, and not intimidated by her. It also helps to lower her guard. Example if she drops something or spills her glass you can tease her that she is a clutz and how embarrassing it is for you to be around her baby sitting. Remember all is done in a light hearted way so remember to smile!


People love to laugh. Women love to laugh. When you are teasing and poking fun it demonstrates you don’t take things seriously and enjoy life. There is a big distinction on being funny. Self deprecating humor lowers your value and does not create attraction. That’s why most comedians are not successful with women. You need to understand that right type of humor. That is being cocky and funny. Its a concept I learned from David D and its great!

It is a mix of arrogance and humor. For example you can switch the frame from the typical men chasing women, to her being the seducer and you are the victim. Here’s how:

If you are talking to her on the phone and mentions that she has to go to bed early you can immediately bust out “bed? I can’t believe you are asking me to go to bed with you, You know, I really don’t like it when women treat me as a piece of meat, what happened to the days where you get to know each other first!” that role reversal frame you can use in any piece of conversation you have with women.

Another example would be if a woman working at the check out register says to you “I can check you out here.” You can pause look at her in doubt and say “check me out? what am I just a eye candy for your own entertainment?” usually you will get a laugh if you say it with a straight face. It creates tension for a moment then a release through her laughter. That highs and lows of emotions is what women are addicted to and that’s what create attraction!

Negation means not to agree with everything she says. As a matter of fact, make it clear that you are disagreeing with her in a light hearted banter. Never argue! An independent, confident man has his own thoughts and outlook on life, and he’s not afraid to negate and state his own point of view, as long as he’s non-reactive or get upset.

For example; she says “I love Jazz” and if you don’t really care for Jazz you can say “me too! I think its a great remedy for insomnia”

Most men agree with a woman and go along with everything she says. So when you disagree in a blunt non-reactive way that’s where it is magic!

In her mind she will be “hmm, they guy is not agreeing with me and matter of fact he is pocking fun of Jazz, isn’t he attracted to me and want me? he must have plenty of girls chasing him, I am going along with it and see more, he seems different.”

That’s what you want to come across as DIFFERENT than most men who are chasing her and seeking her approval. So negation is a great way to demonstrate that and creates curiosity frame in her mind.

Outcome Independence

On being outcome independent, an independent man doesn’t need validation or seek a particular outcome from a woman, he is there demonstrating his personality, having fun in his environment, and he is willing to walk away from a woman if she doesn’t meet his standards.

You are not needy or seeking approval. You don’t have an agenda or trying to get something. You are living in the moment and whatever the present moment brings you works with it without attaching to any particular outcome.

Your attitude should be something like this “ I like your female companionship and I prefer if you stay, however, I won’t lose a breath if you leave, and I do not need you to make me feel good, because I am fine with myself and I can meet someone else that will enjoy my company. But if you decide to stay, we will have a great quality time together.”


Push-pull is another important way of creating sexual tension. You throw the bait, and when she grabs it, you pull back. Or vice-versa, you push her away by showing her you’re not interested, and when she thinks she lost you, you pull her back in. That causes emotional tension.

For example, after you talk to her on the phone and the conversation is going good, you can out of nowhere tell her that you have to go and you will call her back, but you don’t. Give her the gift of missing you!

Be willing to take risks is key in sexual communication. You’re better off pissing a woman off than being too nice to her and not having emotions towards you. As you see in most soap operas, passion can be started when a woman is upset with a man, and she will end up falling in love with him by the end of the episode.

That is called drama. Be gentle, and that could get the momentum rolling. Remember, tension is what separates the “nice guy” from the “sexually worthy man.” The more successful guys are with women, the more they do things out of the ordinary that seem way off and outside the realm of what’s right for most men.

We always try to hide our embarrassing habits or avoid telling our silly jokes, and try to be on our best behavior in front of an attractive woman. We’re worried about messing it up, right? Well not quite. The more you try not to mess up your chances, the more you actually screw it up.

Taking Chances

Taking chances and costly risks in the right way is important. For the sake of communicating to a woman that you are willing to risk your social status and your mating possibilities for the sake of having fun with her, the woman will be attracted to you.

For example when you see a woman at a lounge, club, or a social gathering and you go approach her and say “you know I couldn’t help but noticing you have a great fashion sense so I had to come by and compliment you, I am Edward (shake hands”

You are risking being rejected and lose your social status by approaching her in-front of people and that in her mind is solid “balls” she will unconsciously associate you to a protector and a fearless lover that will sweep her out of her feet.

If she doesn’t give you her number for any reason I guarantee you that she will at least respect you for going after what you want and make no excuses for it. You are living in your own reality and you are leader and not a follower!

Another example could be going through her peer group where guys and girls and tell her that you couldn’t help but noticing her and that you want to meet her. This is a risk worth taking, and even if she doesn’t respond positively, she will respect you as a man of courage.

Caution: going down on your knees on the first date and proposing to her in front of her friends is not the kind of risk we are talking about here! That is not a risk that will demonstrate that you are the prize.

Another concept is called roll playing, where you play the roll of certain characters such as a geek/nerd that is asking her out on a date to go with him to a star wars convention, or some kind of robotic convention.

Body Language

Droopy body language, hands in pocket, eyes looking down makes it much more funnier and sub-communicates that you are a guy that gets it!

You can play the roll of an abusive husband living in a trailer park with twelve kids running around and you are asking her if she paid the cable bill because super ball is coming and you cant miss it.

Another character you can play is a hot girl, where you are whining about guys that they don’t listen to her ect…

It is fun to roll play and you can relate to her by understanding what she goes through from different things that she goes through in her world. It also communicates that you are different and understands her.

These are all tools in the tool box, don’t identify and constrict yourself to any concept, be flexible and learn how to use them in the beginning and by practice it will become natural and smooth in your communication with women.

Have fun!

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About the author

Khaled - Khaled is a seminar leader and trainer, professional key note speaker, and a lifestyle Coach. He is the author of the book “The Gents Code – Building confidence through women and dating”. He also leads seminars in leadership and communication for business professionals all throughout the United States and in the Middle East. Khaled grew up in Beirut, Lebanon and immigrated to the United States in 2001 to pursue his dream. With dedication and sacrifice, Khaled became a US citizen, completed his Bachelor's Degree in Engineering from Arizona State University, and then became a successful business owner of two luxury car dealerships in Scottsdale, Arizona. Although it seemed like he was living the “American Dream”, Khaled struggled internally with a feeling that he was not serving his true purpose. He realized the “mediocrity mentality” that society pushes on men in America. This realization left him constrained spiritually, socially and mentally. Consequently, this left him feeling confused in his role as a man in western society and constrained in being able to relate to women. To end the suffering, he switched gears and began focusing on personal development. He worked hard to train himself to become a bold leader, a practice he is dedicated to today. He is committed to empowering people to transform their lives in a way that touches, moves and inspires them. Khaled became a Life Coach after seven years of relentless learning and development in areas of human psychology, spirituality, and personal transformation. Khaled’s evolution is attributable to dauntless focus and to a variety of accredited sources of transformative learning technologies, including Landmark Education, Anthony Robbins, Neuro-Linguistic Programming, trauma release exercises, spiritual exploration, and more. He is committed to the practice of transforming people’s minds to free men from internal bondage such that they may live a life they love and live it with a purpose. Khaled’s custom developed coaching programs are designed to empower people to achieve outcomes they want by providing methods for discovering true purpose and authentic confidence. He coaches men in the area of women, including interacting and dating quality women. His coaching practice includes guided seminars and boot camps, field work, and 1 on 1 coaching, where he is able to teach the psychology of attraction and strategies for building self-confidence. Since 2013, Khaled has been traveling all over the United States leading seminars in leadership development for business professionals and leading seminars for men on building self-confidence with women and to improve all other relationships. His current personal goals are to continue the process of becoming completely self-actualized, and to serve as a guide on this journey for others. Through his own personal transformation, Khaled knows what it’s like to undertake this journey alone and he wishes to make the process a healthier, quicker, and smoother one for others. He now recognizes that if he hadn’t originally struggled to find his core identity with women, he would never have begun his journey of self-development en route to becoming a professional key note speaker and a seminar leader for business professionals. Though he may not have realized it at the time, his blind pursuit of women was like a carrot on a stick that, after enduring enough pain, motivated him to focus on his own growth. This is why he believes that helping other men with women leads to even greater results: being self-actualized, overcoming limiting beliefs and insecurities, and achieving success in all areas of life. Since 2009, Khaled has been coaching men in different venues day and night, teaching them the art of attracting women. In Khaled’s words, “my biggest joy is when I receive engagement and wedding invitations from my clients.” When a man lives his life in uncertainly, then the man is constantly seeking approval from others. As a natural consequence, the thought of meaningfully trusting this man is discomforting to most. No one can really be sure what he really thinks, what he will really do, and who he really is; when all he ever offers is not based on him, but instead on what he thinks someone else wants him to be. Women want to feel secure. It’s their natural instinct, just as protecting women is ours. If all women see is a man who settles, or a man who gives up their pride and won’t defend their dignity, then the woman will sense on an instinctive level that she will not feel completely secure with him. They will never trust this man because they will sense that he is unable to trust himself. It’s easy to learn quick tricks and cheap techniques for attracting women. This journey is not about that. It is much deeper than that. It is a journey of a personal transformation so that you create the life style you want and become the man you always wanted to be. Join The Movement!

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