Ego is your false sense of self. It is created by unconscious identification of the mind. To the ego, the present moment hardly ever exists. It lives in the past and the future. Learn more about the ego—more specifically, YOUR ego—below...
Ego is your false sense of self. It is created by unconscious identification of the mind. To the ego, the present moment hardly ever exists. It lives in the past and the future. It is always concerned with keeping the past alive, because without the past, who are you? It constantly projects itself into the future to ensure its continual survival, seeking fulfillment there. “One day, I will be…”
Our emotions are the mind’s reflection in the body. Focusing on a solution makes you feel positive emotion, and focusing on the problem makes you feel negative. Though the difference is subtle, it is important, for when you are feeling positive feelings, you are automatically attracting into your experience that which you want. When you are feeling negative emotion, you are attracting into your experience that which you do not want.
Complaining is non-acceptance of what is. It carries an unconscious negative charge. For example, it could be a victim mentality, “poor me”, “not fair”, resentment, or blame. When you speak out, you are in your power. Taking action means speaking out. Any action is more often better than no action, especially if you have been stuck in an unhappy situation for a long time. If you make a mistake, at least you learn something, and that is no mistake. Now, if you remain stuck, you learn nothing. Is it fear that is preventing you from taking action?
Beware of the fear. Acknowledge it, watch it, and know that it has a good intention. It is trying to protect you from being hurt. Be fully present with it. Doing so disassociates the link between the fear and your thinking. Don’t allow your fear to rise up to your mind. Use the power of the present moment and fear cannot prevail.
If there is nothing you can do about a situation to change it, then surrender to the now and accept it for what it is, knowing that the law of impermanence shall prevail. Nothing is permanent; everything is changing. However, don’t just lay back and hope that things will change on their own.
Taking action towards what you want in baby steps is the way to overcome a negative situation. By doing this, you will disarm your negative thoughts, such as sorrow, betrayal, resentment, girlfriend cheated on you, etc. There is great strength to be found from surrendering to the now. This is a piece of wisdom that spiritually enlightened people know. Through surrendering you will be free internally, the form will soften, and the situation will change faster.
Wanting is a state of mind. It means that you crave the future and don’t accept the present. You don’t want what you have, and you want what you don’t have. That creates inner conflict between the here and now, and the projected future where you want to be. That will make you lose touch with the present and reduce the quality of your life.
Life is your core inner being. It is already perfect, whole, and complete. Your life situation consists of your circumstances and your experiences. There is nothing wrong with setting goals and striving to achieve them. The mistake lies in losing it as an alternative for feeling alive and living in the present.
When you fully accept what you have gotten, you are grateful for being alive. Gratitude for the present moment and the fullness of life leads to prosperity. It can’t come in the future. If you are dissatisfied with what you have gotten, or even frustrated with your present lack of women and intimacy, that may motivate you to take action to have an abundance of women and relationships. Yet you will continue to experience the inner condition of lack, and deep down you will continue to feel unfulfilled.
You will have many exciting experiences, yet they will come and go, leaving you with a craving for physical and/or psychological gratification. However, this step is essential to discovering yourself. The more of those reference experiences of intimacy you experience, a new belief will start taking place, which will then lead to the full acceptance of who you are inside. You will no longer seek validation from women, and the paradigm will shift.
So give up a waiting state of mind. When you catch yourself slipping into waiting, snap out of it and bring yourself to the present moment. If you aren’t enjoying your own company, how would you expect someone else to enjoy your company and want to be with you? Beware that the ego strives on time. It knows that the present moment is its own enemy, and its own death, and therefore feels very threatened by the present moment. It will do all it can do to take you outside the present moment. It will attempt to keep you trapped in time.
Every outer purpose is destined to doom sooner or later, because they are subject to the law of impermanence of all things. The sooner you realize your outer purpose can’t give you lasting fulfillment, the faster you start living a fulfilling life.
Non-forgiveness and resentment are the very nature of the mind. Just as the ego can’t survive without conflict, the mind can’t forgive. Only you can. True salvation is a state of liberation from fear, attachment, suffering, and a perceived state of lack and insufficiency. It is freedom from compulsive thinking, negativity, and above all, past and future as a psychological need. Your mind will always tell you that you cannot get where you want to be from here. Something needs to happen first. You need to become this or that before you become liberated and fulfilled.
Why should we become addicted and attached to another person? According to Ekhart Tolle “The reason why romantic relationships are such an intense and universally sought after experience, is that it seems to offer liberation from a deep-seated state of fear, neediness, lack and incompleteness. That is part of the human condition in its unredeemed state.”
There is a physical as well as psychological dimension to this state. On the physical level, you are obviously not whole or complete. You are either man, or a woman, which is one half of the whole. In order to return to the oneness, a man needs a woman, and a woman needs a man. It is an almost irresistible need for uniting with the opposite sex. It is the opposite energy polarity. The root of this physical urge boils down to a spiritual need to return to a state of wholeness. Sexual union is the closest you can get to a state of oneness in the physical dimension. That is why sex is the most deeply satisfying experience the physical world can offer to human beings. Yet sexual union is only an instant of bliss. Living in the moment is not.
On the psychological level, this sense of need, lack, and incompleteness is stronger than on the physical level. When you are identified with the ego, you have an externally derived sense of self. That is to say you will seek validation from outside of who you are: your job, your social status, your possessions, your looks, your success and failure, belief systems, women, and so on. This false mind-made self, the ego, feels vulnerable and insecure, and is always seeking new things to identify with to give it a feeling that it actually exists. However, nothing will ever satisfy the ego and give it lasting fulfillment. Fear remains, as do the sense of lack and neediness.
Only presence can free you from the ego. Only the present moment can free you from attachment. Accept the present moment for what it is, and take action without attaching to any outcome, and you are destined to be liberated.
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