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October 12, 2011   Posted by: Khaled

How To Playfully Tease A Women to Create Attraction

Teasing is a tool to break through a woman’s shield or defense mechanisms. When a woman is out at a social gathering surrounded by her friends, she’s probably been offered free drinks eight or nine times that night by guys who are seeking her attention. She won’t invest her time in every guy who approaches her, so she has to have a way to filter weak guys out.

What she may do is put a “shield” up to weed out the guys who are intimidated by her shield. If you find a way to surpass her shield then you are in, otherwise if you are like 93% of the guys that approach her trying to impress her that night, then you will be dismissed on the spot.

A tease is a way to communicate that you are not impressed by her looks nor her status. You are treating her like a normal human being and when you find something of substance in her then you address that by showing your interest. It’s a way of finding out if she’s cool and not uptight. The more attractive she is, the more it seems to work.

Most women assume that most guys approaching them are hitting on them, and in reality the majority are. You are expected as a man to go after what you want so approaching women is not the problem.

However, most guys show their interest too soon before finding more about a woman’s character whether she is the kind of woman they want to genuinely spend time conversing with after having sex. Showing interest in a woman too soon telegraphs to her that a guy has no standards and  is after one thing which is sex.

So most attractive women have conditioned themselves to become standoffish until a man like you who gets it and is able to surpass her shield and build genuine connection that is based on her character not her appearance. Teasing is ONE OF the ways (but not the only way) to surpass her shield.

When you tease her with something like “I see you are a bit quite, do you go out often?”smile and move on to talk about something else, her reality may be shaken. Since you aren’t like most guys who hit on her telling her how beautiful she is or asking her if she has a boyfriend, or just hammering her with a series of boring interview questionnaire about where is she from and how long she has been here… You are not supplicating, seeking her approval, or offering drinks either.

An attractive woman understands the power she has over the majority of men. She is craving for a man who does not fall in that category of being supplicative and weak. Once you demonstrate you are confident then she will keep testing you to see if you will fall back in that weak category of men who seek her approval. If you snooze you loose. She wants to find a higher status man who she can respect.

Best way to demonstrate that you are that man is first through your non-verbal communication. Your body language and your vocal tonality accounts for 93% of communication. It is not what you say is how you say it. However this article is about teasing through words, if you want to learn the skills for proper non verbal communication then get the book that reveals it all Social Seduction.

You can talk about topics of mutual interest that appear to be boring in the beginning but later you can find something you can tease her about only if you are not aligned with. Remember, teasing is for surpassing her shield. If she is opened to the conversation and invested in you, then teasing could cause more harm. If she is not investing much in the interaction or she is being standoffish then something like “Nice shoes, my little sister would love those,” smile and show you are joking, can do wonder.

An attractive woman who understands her power may try to get you to do things for her. A classic example is asking you to buy her a drink. In which you will respond “No, I don’t buy drinks to people I don’t know but if you buy me a drink I’ll get you the next round.” If she doesn’t agree, you can turn your back and smile.

Tease about anything she has control over in the short-term, so nothing about weight, age, skin, body, etc. Usually by nature most guys are automatically perceived in most women’s mind as a sexual suitor.  When you tease her, you are communicating the opposite. And that is you like her enough to approach her but she has to win you over with her character not her looks.

Never insult, keep it fun and light. The point is to get her laughing and to challenge her by demonstrating your self-confidence.  Teasing that worked on the playground in elementary school still works well as an adult.

Women become attracted when they see you as a challenge. The more they are emotionally invested the better.

This goes back to the school of thought that society puts women up on a pedestal, and men treat women as goddesses with higher value than them. Most attractive women don’t pay cover charge, get free drinks at clubs, have guys who offer them free dinners, help them move, pay their bills, etc. so they are used to men supplicating to them.

Teasing is a sort of a light way to flip the tables around where you become the catch.

Some women who are not healthy minded unfortunately think just because they have the looks, it gives them a sense of entitlement and power over men. By teasing, you are dropping her down a notch from her pedestal. As a result usually she will start working to get back to that status by trying to seek your approval in which you will reward her. If you want to learn how to reward her specifically get the book that reveals it all Social Seduction.

Examples Of Teasing

  • “With heels that high you better watch out for birds”
  • If she’s wearing ripped jeans, “Oh wow those are interesting pants, did you get them used?”
  • If she’s really attractive, you can comment on her dress, shoes, purse, or whatever caught your eye with a comment like “I like your style but I can see your shoes would have looked better in black”

Always remember that the point behind teasing is to have fun with a woman and not to bring her down. It is a form of bantering to see if she is cool enough to drop her guard and be real. Don’t ever try to insult or take away from a woman. Always give value and value will come back to you ten folds.

I hope that serves you,

Your friend


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About the author

Khaled - Khaled is a seminar leader and trainer, professional key note speaker, and a lifestyle Coach. He is the author of the book “The Gents Code – Building confidence through women and dating”. He also leads seminars in leadership and communication for business professionals all throughout the United States and in the Middle East. Khaled grew up in Beirut, Lebanon and immigrated to the United States in 2001 to pursue his dream. With dedication and sacrifice, Khaled became a US citizen, completed his Bachelor's Degree in Engineering from Arizona State University, and then became a successful business owner of two luxury car dealerships in Scottsdale, Arizona. Although it seemed like he was living the “American Dream”, Khaled struggled internally with a feeling that he was not serving his true purpose. He realized the “mediocrity mentality” that society pushes on men in America. This realization left him constrained spiritually, socially and mentally. Consequently, this left him feeling confused in his role as a man in western society and constrained in being able to relate to women. To end the suffering, he switched gears and began focusing on personal development. He worked hard to train himself to become a bold leader, a practice he is dedicated to today. He is committed to empowering people to transform their lives in a way that touches, moves and inspires them. Khaled became a Life Coach after seven years of relentless learning and development in areas of human psychology, spirituality, and personal transformation. Khaled’s evolution is attributable to dauntless focus and to a variety of accredited sources of transformative learning technologies, including Landmark Education, Anthony Robbins, Neuro-Linguistic Programming, trauma release exercises, spiritual exploration, and more. He is committed to the practice of transforming people’s minds to free men from internal bondage such that they may live a life they love and live it with a purpose. Khaled’s custom developed coaching programs are designed to empower people to achieve outcomes they want by providing methods for discovering true purpose and authentic confidence. He coaches men in the area of women, including interacting and dating quality women. His coaching practice includes guided seminars and boot camps, field work, and 1 on 1 coaching, where he is able to teach the psychology of attraction and strategies for building self-confidence. Since 2013, Khaled has been traveling all over the United States leading seminars in leadership development for business professionals and leading seminars for men on building self-confidence with women and to improve all other relationships. His current personal goals are to continue the process of becoming completely self-actualized, and to serve as a guide on this journey for others. Through his own personal transformation, Khaled knows what it’s like to undertake this journey alone and he wishes to make the process a healthier, quicker, and smoother one for others. He now recognizes that if he hadn’t originally struggled to find his core identity with women, he would never have begun his journey of self-development en route to becoming a professional key note speaker and a seminar leader for business professionals. Though he may not have realized it at the time, his blind pursuit of women was like a carrot on a stick that, after enduring enough pain, motivated him to focus on his own growth. This is why he believes that helping other men with women leads to even greater results: being self-actualized, overcoming limiting beliefs and insecurities, and achieving success in all areas of life. Since 2009, Khaled has been coaching men in different venues day and night, teaching them the art of attracting women. In Khaled’s words, “my biggest joy is when I receive engagement and wedding invitations from my clients.” When a man lives his life in uncertainly, then the man is constantly seeking approval from others. As a natural consequence, the thought of meaningfully trusting this man is discomforting to most. No one can really be sure what he really thinks, what he will really do, and who he really is; when all he ever offers is not based on him, but instead on what he thinks someone else wants him to be. Women want to feel secure. It’s their natural instinct, just as protecting women is ours. If all women see is a man who settles, or a man who gives up their pride and won’t defend their dignity, then the woman will sense on an instinctive level that she will not feel completely secure with him. They will never trust this man because they will sense that he is unable to trust himself. It’s easy to learn quick tricks and cheap techniques for attracting women. This journey is not about that. It is much deeper than that. It is a journey of a personal transformation so that you create the life style you want and become the man you always wanted to be. Join The Movement!

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